The True Damien

Family

2010-08-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning :/
First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's messed up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.
Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.
I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so fucking beautiful that I watched it twice. (probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy shit went down and I had to leave home. (My dad's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).
Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.
My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to screw her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.
After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.
Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.
My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was messed up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.
Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've EVER seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.
A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.
But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

Where have I been?

2009-12-08T06:34:00.000-08:00

Man, I don't know what got into me -- maybe it's Facebook, maybe it's laziness, but Uncle Damien has let his little blog go to absolute shit. Kinda like my garden. I don't really want to compare it to my garden, but it's an apt comparison.

Which also leads me to believe that I have no readers. I'm going to have to fix that. Whatever. UNCLE DAMIEN IS BACK!!

At any rate, real quickly: It's great to have a blog to go backwards in time to see that I called the fact that Obama was going to suck donkey balls for a while (not because he's black, he's a NOOB!). Maybe he'll get better, maybe he won't, but I think that I could've done a better job than him so far.

Two words: Motherfucking Afghanistan.

Been Out of The Loop

2008-11-11T08:06:00.000-08:00

What's up bitches? Uncle Damien has been lazy and not blogged in a while. So sue me, I reckon. Let's bring everyone up to date:

Broke my big toe a few weeks ago, still hasn't healed all the way and I don't know if it's healing right or not
We have a new president. He's black. That's supposed to be a good thing, but I don't think he's going to be a good president. Not because he's black, but because he's a noob. So was JFK, so I'll withold judgement.
Went to Mexico. Before we got a new president, but after I broke my toe. Tried to rebreak my toe in the hot tub. Had to get a 'toe truck' to take me around...nah, forget it. Horrible joke.
Made a very beautiful natural birdie on a par 3 the other day. Great 7 iron shot onto the green, then sank a 35 foot putt to drop it in for the bird. I immediately celebrated by getting too wasted to finish the round of golf in a satisfactory manner. Why do I mention this? Because it's important to ME, dammit!

And I think that's about it. Take a moment to hug a veteran. If you're a hot chick, take a moment to make out with a veteran or even to offer a veteran oral sex. Especially if you're a hot chick and the veteran is a hot chick, too.

We Will Not Forget

2008-10-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

At about this time of year, I start feeling meloncholy. I could go on and on about it, but I don't. Amanda knows full well how often this sits on my mind, and how I flog myself about it. Classic case of narcissim: I was too busy looking after my own interests at the time. I realize, on a logical level, that there was nothing my involvement, or further lack thereof, could've done to prevent the below, but yet, I find myself rationalizing through the 'what-if's', and I can count them over and over. And over again. I'm so sorry. I miss ya, bud.

McDOWELL, ROBERT "MATTHEW,"29, of Holiday, died Friday (Oct. 24, 2003) in Holiday. He moved to Oldsmar in 1988 from his native Wilmington, Del., then moved to Holiday. He attended Tarpon Springs High School and was employed by Talk America in Palm Harbor. Survivors include his mother, one sister, two brothers, four nephews and one niece. Foulk Funeral Home, West Grove, Pa.

I'm still grieving. I'll crack an Amber Bock open later this month, and you and I will have a chat. Love ya -- we will not forget.

Damien

Good Job, Louisiana!

2008-09-03T03:16:00.000-07:00

You know, in the most recent course of events, there are many things I could talk about:

McCain and his GILF VP pick (roar!)
Hottie McGilferson (wow!)
Vice President Hot-a-licious

As you can see, there are several valid subjects that I'd like to blog about, but instead of being cynical or a lusting, sinful dog (in the best sense of the word), I'm going to give a compliment.

God bless you, Ray Nagin. You got it right. So did you Louisiana, so did you, FEMA.

After the last cycle of finger-pointing and laying the blame at everyone else's feet. Ya'll finally got it right.

Nagin: You kept abreast of the storm, alerted the city and still ordered an evacuation with plenty of time for everyone to get out (I-10 was a zoo, but whaddayagonnado?), set up a functional Emergency Operations Center, and only recently invited citizens back to the city with fair warning that repairing the power grid would take weeks to be completed.

Negroponte: You told local authorities what you had, where it was at, how long it would take to get there, and ensured you were ready to deliver everything promised, and more. Except for ice. That kind of sucks, but whaddayagonnado?

Bush: You immediately declared a state of emergency in about 18 Parrishes. I don't know how you could've messed this one up (though in your defense, that should really be your only job, so whaddayagonnado?).

Good job, everyone. I'm glad to know that your fair cities survived. There's some rebuilding left to do, sure, but at least ya'll had your act together.

See what you can do when you all work together?

An Open Letter...

2008-08-13T08:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Friend,

As you know, I have absolutely no shame in taking a poop at work. I figure I'm going to stink some place up, and it might as well be a public restroom -- especially at the office. It's clean, modern, and because there are plenty of stalls, it's virtually anonymous.

And that's where you come in, generous pooper. I ensured I sat in the familiar comforts of my end stall, which is a respite sometimes, especially during the days I can't seem to get anything done. I chose that stall for one specific reason: It's all the way on the end.

So imagine my confusion when you interrupted my poop reverie and sat down in the stall immediately next to mine. True, it's a free country, and I realize it's a public restroom, but didn't you have to walk past 6 other empty stalls to pick the one right next to me? Were any of those unappealing?

At any rate, I suppose there are worse things: When I was in the Army, for example, there were several times when I sat on a toilet next to another toilet with no stall. At least in that scenario we could share the newspaper, but I digress.

As if your continued presence coupled with the knowledge of what you were doing weren't enough, my dear Prince of Poop, you decide that that very instant is an appropriate time to conduct a launch test for NASA. With you as the test vehicle.

I mean seriously, did you have a seat belt fastened prior to unleashing 36 millions tons per square inch of pressure? There at least had to have been an inner voice telling you to put your hands and arms SOMEWHERE to keep from getting them ripped the fuck off when you go flying out of your stall like an errant Iranian missle due to the sheer energy being released from your stinking ass. I thought the frickin' stall was going to explode onto me (really, it would be an IMPLOSION from my point of view, but whatever...) and I'm sure the people on the first floor were a little perturbed when the lights started to vibrate from the pressure.

And the worst part of it is, I still had a little bit left to go. I was working on it. Coaxing it. Visualizing the last little piece of turd gently hitting the water, finding its way to a new residence. Just as I was about to be rewarded for my efforts, your earth-shattering dookie explosion broke my concentration. After one or two more pushes and grunts (in vain, I might add, since the last of my turtle head retreated in frightened desperation to the depths of my bowel), I begin to clean up.

And that, oh gentle Dauphin of Defecation, is when you finally put the finishing touches on my retreat. At first I was alarmed by the sound: A sound of a 320 pound man trying to clean and jerk a fucking 18-wheeler. A huffing and puffing so fierce and intense the big bad wolf had to retire. A breathing so heavy it sounded like you were giving birth to a 20 pound baby through your ass. And you were constipated at the time.

I seriously thought you were masturbating, BUT:

When I exited my stall, the absolute stench of your fecal fiasco greeted me like a 10 ton heavy....thing. A big, noxious, green, evil, oppressive, 10 ton THING that punched me in the nostrils and invited me to the floor. A smell of liverwurst, onions, chitterlings, and dog shit all rolled up, deep fried, and rendered into its base component of the nasty shit that lives in your ass!

As you can see, my experience has been less than pleasant. I can understand someone needing to excorsize the evil Bud Lite demons, but did you really have to sit next to me?!

So, in conclusion, Caruso of Crappers, I would respectfully request you keep your nuclear ambitions in a stall that doesn't sit adjacent to mine. Really, I would request you keep that shit to yourself while you're here, entirely, but then you might explode and take out other people.

Also, if you're going to request toilet paper after a cropdusting like the one you did, don't stick your hand under the stall. That's just creepy.

Sincerely yours,

Anonymous Work-Pooper

PS -- I just ate a WHOLE Publix sub with extra peppers and onions. I'll be leaving that waste in stall #8 tomorrow, so be forewarned that I'm prepared to fight....

What a Douche

2008-07-18T12:52:00.001-07:00

This guy is a total douche -- listen to his message

New Post!

2008-07-16T06:50:00.001-07:00

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

GW Bush -- Buffoon or Great Leader?

2008-07-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

Great article in the Telegraph, a UK newspaper, written by a guy with an Middle Eastern name, Sameh El-Shahat:

"So, the hot news now is Barack Obama.

Obama this, Obama that... Naturally, it is very laudable that the United States may have chosen to look beyond the issue of race and opted for a person purely on the merit of his character. But what will they find?

The usual hot air that Washington politicians seem to have made their own. Mr Obama is no different. We’re just too politically correct to say that the only thing refreshing about him is his [race]. So we say he’s “bipartisan”, or he’s a “uniter”.

Whatever happened to leadership and honesty as presidential traits? I happen to believe that the only leader in the West to have these two admirable qualities in droves is the leader of the free world: George W Bush.

Yes, we’ve all heard the Bushisms and laughed at them but do you really think somebody supposedly that thick can make it to the top of the most sophisticated political system the world has ever seen?

No, and that is because Mr Bush is far cleverer than most of his predecessors. He may not have been a Rhodes Scholar, but he has the ability to reach out to his people and read them.

Take the Iraq war for example. OK, so he got us into Iraq in the first place. But for Pete’s sake, he’s the leader of the world’s only superpower. He needs to take decisions, even if sometimes they have nasty consequences - which is far better than we do in Europe, where we enjoy dithering not as a means to an end, but as an end in itself.

Something had to be done about Iraq and our government was all for attacking it too. So let’s not blame G.W. for the war.

And when things did go wrong in Iraq, and there were calls to pull out, Mr Bush just followed his own counsel and doubled his bet with the Surge.

And he was right because Iraq is in a relatively better shape today than it ever was and Al Qa'eda is a shadow of its former self in that country.

This is a man who has the courage of his convictions.

Let’s not forget how Europe does wars.

Usually we wait and wait until the enemy starts attacking, then we let them win a bit, then we fight until we are tired, then we just call the US to come over to clean our mess.

That is what happened in WWI, WWII, and the Balkans.

Bush is just showing us what a bunch of dangerous ditherers we are and we hate him for it. Naturally.

And the Olympics. Bush said right from the beginning that he’s going to the opening ceremony because he saw the whole boycott thing as silly and counterproductive.

Compare that with Sarkozy who has changed his mind twice so far and to Gordon Brown who, well... err.

Not much leadership from Europe here, as usual, just doublespeak. Once again, it is to Bush that we look for leadership.

Bush may not have the slickness of his predecessor, but he is a man you can trust and who prefers to tell it like it is.

This is refreshing, and very scary for us who are used to our politicians always talking grandly about principles and hiding behind political mumbo-speak.

The fact is you guys hate Mr Bush because he is not a hypocrite and you are used to hypocrites as your leaders. We hate what we don’t understand.

Yes, yes, all you bleeding heart liberals are cringing out there. I can just hear you. But the fact is, Mr Bush has had to take some very tough decisions and the world needs people who can not only talk but also act tough and admit mistakes.

Of course you think Mr Obama is going to make a difference, but as I write this, he’s already giving all the signs of somebody who will say anything to get into power only to act in exactly the same way as the Washington clique he aims to replace!

Hating George W. Bush is not only dull and unoriginal, but it shows a complete lack of understanding of the world in which we live in.

You want liberty but you don’t want to defend it... right.

And for those of you who still don’t buy into what I’m saying, look at the Middle East. Bush single-handedly managed to unite the Arabs in their hate for him.

Given how difficult uniting the Arabs is, it takes a special man with special skills to achieve this. He is just the kind of man to bring about peace in that region!"

Amen, Mr. El-Shahat - Keep up the good work!

Ricky Bobby

Lyrics I Would Steal...

2008-06-24T09:28:00.001-07:00

Kinda a generic post, but it's been a while since something has moved me. So, without trying to pass this off as my own, I'm going to readily admit I took these lyrics from Nikki Sixx. Life is Beautiful. It is.

You can't quit until you try
You can't live until you die
You can't learn to tell the truth
Until you learn to lie

You can't breathe until you choke
You gotta laugh when you're the joke
There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

I know some things that you don't
I've done things that you won't
There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home

I was waiting for my hearse
What came next was so much worse
It took a funeral to make me feel alive

It's Been

2008-06-23T14:37:00.000-07:00

It's been a tough few days, and I fear it will get a bit worse before it gets better.

Pray for Damien.

RB

Happy Friday

2008-06-20T13:29:00.001-07:00

Some cool headlines from today. Just because I'm funny like that:

Mars Phoenix Lander finds Ice. Like, made from water ice. That’s cool.

Keira Knightly will appear topless in her next film. Live screening in my head.

JJ Arrington of the AZ Cardinals has apparently decided that playing pro football (marginally, I might add) gives him the right to go around hitting people. Sheriff disagrees, and gives him a free night at the gray bar hotel to think about it.

Israel did a peaceful demonstration of what they would do if they decided to bomb Iran. In related news, Ahmadinejad is convinced that the U.S. is plotting to assassinate him. You’re looking in the wrong direction, dude.

Police in Canada have determined that the six severed feet recently discovered on the beaches did not come from the same person. Good work there, Sherlock.

And, a list of 10 things that boozehounds must do before they die:

http://tastybooze.com/2008/06/top-10-drinking-achievements-before-you-die/

Enjoy!

Have You Ever...

2008-05-15T18:42:00.000-07:00

...Been on the other side of a one-sided conversation?

...Taken the blame for something you didn't do?

...Assume the high road so someone else will feel better?

...Bite your tongue to avoid hurting someone?

...Avoid the argument for the sake of being right?

If you have, did it ever pay off?

RB

Funny and Sad....

2008-05-09T10:32:00.000-07:00

Is what my next offering is (I think from now on, I shall refer to my posts as 'offerings'). It's funny, but it makes one hell of a point.

Enjoy!

RB

The Little Shit

2008-05-06T20:26:00.001-07:00

Did I ever tell any of you?

I'm sorry, I'm genuinely surprised. I thought I shared with you the two rules of life. They have been guarded by generations of bona fide country folk like myself.

They don't come cheap, you know. I'll have to charge you something later on down the road for sharing this wisdom. We can work it out, if you like. I do accept trade.

Wait, you mean I haven't really told you? Are you fucking kidding me? I thought I did. My bad. Guess I'll make up for it. Do you mind if I light up a smoke? This may take a while.... Hold on.... Mmmm, good Marlboro.

I'll tell you like I wish my grandpappy told me. There are two simple rules of life. The first rule is: Don't sweat the small shit.

The second rule is: EVERYTHING is the small shit.

Oh hell, I didn't even finish my cigarette. I didn't even take two puffs off that bitch, and you already learned this lesson? Damn, this has taken me many years and many different attemnpts, and yet I still don't quite get this from time to time. I certainly hope you do. Remember, it's so much easier if you can put it in perspective. In fact, young one, I'll put it down in two easy steps:

Step 1: Don't sweat the small shit.
Step 2: EVERYTHING is the small shit.

I need to be reminded of that sometimes, myself. Don't worry if you forget it from time to time -- you will. That's a part of growing up. In fact, the more you abide by these two rules, the more hair you'll grow.

Well, that's not entirely true. At first, you'll grow hair all over your body, and in a bunch of weird places. Afterward, it will get gray. After that, it will start to recede and grow out your ears and you'll get puffy eyebrows and shit. Either way:

Don't sweat the small shit...

Alright, boys and girls, Uncle Damien is done lecturing. Just remember that I choose to share these lessons with you, because the cost of you learning them from me is far less than I had to pay.

You might call me a professor who earned his education from the School of Hard Knocks (which might be in New Jersey, though I'm not sure)

Take care of yourself; and each other.

Ricky Bobby

We ARE the GOOD GUYS!

2008-04-28T12:28:00.001-07:00

Ok, I'm going to get off of Scientology for a while, not that I don't have anything to say, but I'm one lone voice out of a few million, and I will indeed be back on my mission to bring truth and justice to these poor souls...

With that being said, please check out the following video for TWO reasons: 1) It's time for us to truly see what our armed forces are doing in Iraq, and 2) I finally figured out how to embed video. I'm so cool.

At any rate, the following video is a compilation of the good guys killing the bad guys. That's right, liberals, I said KILLING the bad guys. The same bad guys that kill our armed servicemen (and women), and each other. The same bad guys that smuggle weapons in from Iran (proven), Syria (also proven) and N Korea (um, not proven yet, but they're exporting nuclear parts to Iran, so...) to use against US forces and their own civilian police and pathetic excuse for a national army. The same bad guys that will not blink an eye in beheading a US Soldier, Marine, or Airman (Navy fags stay on their boats, except for the SEALS, in which case, you are most DEFINITELY not a fag -- RESPECT), and happily post that on their Allah loving, Koran thumping versions of YouTube (I'm surprised they don't have a sharing site called 72virgins.com or something like that). Their god DEMANDS it of them, you see. IF you don't believe in Allah and respect Muhammed as a prophet and not as the warlord he actually was (he was probably GW Bush before there was a GW Bush), these people are the ones that would love to kill YOU, you capitalist-loving, democracy-toting, car-driving, lawn-watering, too-much-to-eat pathetic excuse for a human being. Thank goodness they have succumbed to a disease we call 'fucking with the United States'. It's typically terminal.

Enjoy!

RB

YouTube Douchebags

2008-04-19T08:52:00.001-07:00

Man, just when you think first amendment shit actually means something: Apparantly the people at YouTube don't fucking think so. The video you're about to see is from some actor named Jason Beghe, and I don't know who the fuck he is, so he may not be that well known (to me at any rate). So this guy decides the Scientology is the biggest fucking rip-off since people were selling the Brooklyn Bridge. He goes in-depth, and calls it as he sees it: Rip. Off. Of particular note is where he says he made it through the OT levels, and people are still getting migraines. How the fuck, he says, can you have a migraine if you're supposed to be 'clear'. Fuck, how I hate those dirty scumbags at Co$.

Well, after I had found this clip and watched it, licking my drooling chops the whole time (Finally, I thought, a FUCKING DISSENTER), I, being the civil-minded person I am, decided to post it to my blog. Imagine my surprise when I returned a few days later to check me blog, and on a suspiscion, I checked the video and it DIDN'T WORK. Apparantly, the folks at YouTube, being the scared ass douchebags they are, took the video down. Shame on you, YouTube. Shame on every one of you.

But anyway, still being the civic-minded person I am, I have found another copy of the video, which I now enclose for your viewing pleasure. You don't have to thank Uncle Damien, boys and girls, because it's all part of a days' work. Enjoy.

Hilarious

2008-04-11T09:33:00.000-07:00

Gotta check this out. Wait for the commentary.

Strength

2008-03-04T21:15:00.000-08:00

Man, strength is a relative term. I've always thought myself strong, but I've come to learn I'm weak. Very weak.

Weakness is not rewarded in nature or society. I can no longer fight or argue for fundamental changes, and I must seek new solutions.

Don't worry if it's cryptic: There may or may not be a hidden message here -- I haven't decided yet.

Oh yeah, I'm sorry for being lazy. I guess I'm pretty much an all around disappointment. This was prophesied, however, so no big deal.

The more you drink, the better I look. The less you care, the more it appears I do. The more I try, the less it's rewarded.

I'm not convinced that I wasn't on the right path to begin with. It's too late to change certain decisions, but it's never too late to go back. Never say never. Do or die. Winners don't quit. Quitters don't win. Cliche's are written by clichorises -- I like to lick the clich!

I have no purpose blogging here today, just saying that some choices are bullshit. I'd rather let others choose the fucking bullshit I put up with. When you're consistently wrong all the time, it's much easier to let others decide how wrong you are rather than argue. I'm an efficiency expert, after all, and my job is to manage the bottom line.

Bottom line: No More Bullshit.

Get It While It's HOT!

2008-01-17T14:29:00.000-08:00

For those of you that have heard about it, but haven't got to see it, I have linked up with Gawker's page to bring you Tom Cruise's Scientology propaganda video.

http://gawker.com/5002269/the-cruise-indoctrination-video-scientology-tried-to-suppress

Dude says it's a PRIVELEGE to be a Scientologist. Yeah, the same way it's a privelege to have your paycheck, your personal belongings, property, and your free will taken from you by the very institution that is trying to save you. By his rationale, I'd be priveleged to be a carjacking victim. Fuck you, Tom. Come see how the people that don't have your money live.

All in all, Tom is a douche.

Obese And Proud Of It

2007-12-13T16:53:00.000-08:00

I swore I wouldn't rant, but I just have to. I'm going to preface this by saying I'm not perfect, and there aren't a lot of perfect people who aren't celebrities, either. But c'mon...

So I'm Publix tonight, just shopping for a little Vin la Rouge, and I see this....KID, no older than 20 years old, riding on the fucking cart reserved for senior citizens and disabled people.

As an aside, the day after I gashed my heel open, walking wasn't that easy, and I confess, I utilized the motorized scooter in Publix that day, as well. I felt like shit about it, but what are you going to do?

So the kid, probably weighs about 280, was waiting in line for a Publix sub. At that particular moment, I THOUGHT about blogging about it, but I decided it would be a little bit out of line. Anyway, I put it out of my mind, selected my wine (ooh, that could be a song: I put her out of mind, selected my wine, and went to drown the lonliness that I feel inside...lilnilhil, WRITE ME A RIFF!) , but on my way back, I was wont to walk down the cereal aisle, and there is the kid again, fucking drooling over some fruity fucking pebbles. After he realizes that he has PASSED the preservative laden, over fattening (yeah, RIGHT, part of this complete breakfast my ASS -- kind of like anal is part of a complete sex life) cereal, and get this -- THE KID PULLS AN AUSTIN POWERS AND PROCEEDS TO TRY A 3 POINT TURN IN THE FUCKING AISLE!! I shit you not. Keep in mind the aisles are really narrow, so it was classic Powers, bumping into both sides of the aisle, looking backwards and scooting forwards, the whole 9 yards.

Still, I didn't even want to blog about it, UNTIL:

So I get to checkout, this time, I couldn't put it out of my mind, with the wine that was mine (and is currently slowing dropping in my insides), when I see an elderly woman who was walking with two half crutches, or whatever they are. That's when I decided to rant.

Look, I've dealt with a weight problem my whole life. So has my mother and one of my sisters, and several people I know. But we know this, we try hard to maintain it. But never never NEVER have any of us stooped so low as to accept it to the point that we would force someone who needs a scooter to not have one because we didn't.

Honestly, at that point, I felt like going and slapping this kid dead in the face, taking away his sugar, and booting him up and down the aisle. Typically, I'm a pacifist, so I wouldn't, but dayum, it just would've felt nice.

At any rate, I'm not ragging on obese people. I realize that God made us all in different shapes and sizes, and we all have our own challenges. But if I could....I'd slap him AND his mom. That kid is going to be a burden on society. Seriously, the kid was just fine with taking this resource from someone who might've needed. He was PROUD to drool over sugary cereal and do a Powers-Esque turnaround. What the fuck?

As an aside, I checked him out -- to the best of my knowledge, he had absolutely no reason he couldn't be walking. No special equipment, no special shoes, leg braces, crutches, etc.

Alright, thanks for listening. Going back to my wine, which is mine, because I went and cleared my mind, and I feel fine inside...My wine...

Evil Manifests Itself Via MySpace

2007-12-05T12:40:00.000-08:00

I won't say too much about it, I think it speaks for itself. This is the link to the lady who harassed that young girl through MySpace until she hung herself. Disgusting.

http://meganhaditcoming.blogspot.com/2007/12/im-lori-drew.html

YouTube VS Politics

2007-11-28T13:28:00.000-08:00

Sorry if the title sounds uncatchy, but it's almost true.

There are a lot of people pointing out the lack of civics education or actual participation in Democracy by the younger generation. I know a lot of them THINK they're being participatory, but the true fact is that the younger generation is simply regurgitating the same tired facts and opinions being fed to them by the liberal media. A media, which purports to label itself 'impartial', divides our country more than actual bi-partison squabbling.

This simply isn't participation. Participation is educating yourself on candidates and facts, not someone else's opinions (you get the FACTS so you can draw your OWN conclusion). Participation is not only voting for your choice of president, but federal legislator, state governor, legistlator, mayor, city council, etc. I don't see the sense of urgency in people 10 years younger than myself to get involved.

Unless, of course, it's the tech generation. I'm sorry, but sending in sloppy questions like "why shouldn't we get married", or listening to a guy in a santa suit send video questions to candidates is kind of making a mockery of the system, in my opinion. Granted, I understand that these are issues which are important to the person asking them, but a part of our Democracy is also being inclusive of others, and challenging the accountability of our leaders and candidates. A debate is simply a very public job interview, and our job as spectators is to use that information to draw our own conclusions and therefore support the person we believe is best for the job.

Really, I just can't believe that we're sidestepping social security, a failed Iraqi government, two-front wars that are costing hundreds of billions of dollars, illegal immigrants, failed justice systems, etc in order to field questions from a guy in a santa suit. Doesn't make sense.

Anyway, that's one poor man's opinion.

RB

Happiness, and What Not

2007-11-23T19:58:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was yesterday, and it was damn well nice.

Went to my grandma's, had some good food, and then adjourned to my sister's withe some of her husband's family there. Great food and even better times.

Didn't have shit to write about -- I went a responded to someone else's blog with all my thought and vocabulary I'm going to get to use today. At least I liked the response.

Anyway, hope everyone had a great turkey day. I'd post pictures of my day if; A) I had pictures, and B) I knew how to do it.

Happy Holidays (won't say it much longer, because I'm going to have a serious holiday bitch very soon)

RB

When The Looking Glass Is Reversed...

2007-11-20T14:36:00.000-08:00

Great article today in the St Pete times. I won't try to take anything away from it, so I'll leave the link at the end of this post.

The gist of it is, Bush's warrantless wiretapping program in actuality exceeds the scope he described to the American people. A former AT&T executive states that he has seen some of the NSA's "secret rooms" where agents are filtering through millions of web pages and email addresses -- this is traffic that is originating and TERMINATING within our borders, which, according to Bush, was not supposed to happen. Does anyone else think this guy is an imperialist?

Here's the link. Enjoy and leave your comments. http://www.sptimes.com/2007/11/18/Opinion/In_the_US_of_A__we_ar.shtml

RB

Blackjack, Bacharrat and Slots -- OH MY!

2007-11-15T07:48:00.000-08:00

To say that I'm thrilled right now would be a bit of an overstatement, because I really don't give a shit either way, BUT:

Governor Crist signed a compact with the Seminole Tribe to allow Vegas style card games and slot machines in all 6 of its casinos in Florida. The state is guaranteed $100M in the first year alone.

The state legislature is not too happy about this turn of events. They are planning to block this measure if it has to come through the floor of the House. One member of the GOP cited that the presence of slot machines and blackjack would increase crime rates (SERIOUSLY?! It's a casino surrounded by cops! And, if you look at my LAST post, you see what happens to criminals after fucking around in a Seminole casino), and someone else cited the fact that compact is non binding and therefore not a legal agreement with the State of Florida.

Either way, those douchebags should seriously shut up. It's $100M in revenue the state needs, and they're probably objecting because they did not work to capitalize on this opportunity. So, I guess to cover the fact the state is going to be over $1B short in revenue for the second year in a row, select members of the legislature are going to play the moral card. Sometimes I'm ashamed to be a Republican, but what are you going to do?

Nothing from state Democrats, but I'm sure once the above is all finalized, I'm sure we'll all see some requests for ridiculous social programs, like "save the butterflies", and "science and research run amok: Cloning".

At any rate, remember that if you play your hand too strong, they will fold, and if you play it too weak, they will draw out on you. Every time.

RB

How Crime Kills

2007-11-14T09:46:00.000-08:00

So, some guy on the Miccosukee Indian reservation was breaking into cars when noticed by police. As you probably know, all Indian reservations are autonomous, which means they are self-governed, and have their own police force (and I could have fun with THAT, but I digress).

So guy breaking into cars gets noticed by the cops, and runs into a retention pond. Apparantly, he disturbed the meal of a pretty big alligator, who wasn't quite thrilled about that, and promptly bit the man on the head and dragged him 50 under water. Needless to say, the man died.

Now, they trapped and killed the alligator, because under state law, any gator that bites and/or ingests a human must be destroyed and not consumed as tasty gator tail nuggets (tastier chicken and baby cow nuggets, even).

That's lunacy, I say. The state should be offering this vigilante reptile a job, either as a police chief, or even to be the new face for "Take a Bite out of Crime". In fact, we could probably throw this gator into the Democratic presidential race, and then we could all rest better knowing there is at least ONE tough candidate on their ballot.

RB

First And Foremost...

2007-11-13T19:17:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, this is my first post on my new blog. Certainly new to the blogosphere.

First post = no readers, so I'll see if I can actually draw a fucking hand.

RB